Hanging Out Looking Cool Saying the Same Things Over and Over Again
There is no doubt about information technology that the dating earth can be difficult and a difficult territory to navigate. This is peculiarly true when we are in our tardily teens to twenties. With the age of dating apps and non-committal arrangements, the lines become blurred and sometimes it feels like it is impossible to know where we stand up with someone. They say that women are the more complicated gender, but at that place are many men out at that place that can be simply as hard to read. It is like shooting fish in a barrel to get caught in the trap of him wanting something more casual and the girl wanting something more serious. In gild to non hurt your feelings, sometimes they drop hints to us hoping that nosotros volition quickly selection on them.
If a guy doesn't want to be direct with you, there will be a code talk that he will give you that is subtle. Sometimes information technology is so subtle to the betoken where nosotros don't selection up the message birthday. Not to worry. We have made an all-encompassing list of prime examples of what guys say to you versus what they are really trying to say to you. Don't get too offended or shocked, for the truth will set you gratis. In fact, you may even desire to consider ditching him after knowing what his real intentions are.
Here are the 22 segments of bro code for what he says vs. what he really means.
22 He Says: "My Ex Was Crazy." vs. He Means: "My Ex Was Sane Until I Made Her Crazy."
It is actually a mellow class of misogyny when men every bit a collective label women as "crazy" just because they are acting in a way that they don't like. In fact, it is a course of gas-lighting when your man does disrespectful and inconsiderate things and and so labels you a "psycho" when yous get upset over it. If a guy tells you that his ex is crazy, psycho, etc. and doesn't really give the reason as to what really provoked her, chances are that he did something to provoke her. Of course, there are two sides to every story, and she may have overreacted. Always retrieve that all relationships become in two-fashion streets. Unless he follows up the statement of "my ex was crazy" with a "merely to exist fair, I did X, Y, or Z" then take this with a grain of salt.
21 He Says: "I Love You." vs. He Means: "Wow, I Did It. I'm Crazy Virtually You And Don't Want To Meet Anyone Else."
It is the hardest affair in the world for a guy to come out and acknowledge how he is really feeling. Society tells boys that they need to "suck it up" or "exist a homo" and non show any vulnerability. This is especially true when it comes to dealing with women. For a guy to tell you lot that he loves you is an incredible stepping stone for him specially if he had other options before you. In today's modern dating earth, it is easy for people to believe that at that place is a better choice simply correct around the corner. Just brand sure that he actually means it when he says that he loves you. Guy lawmaking could say that he loves y'all but it could only be some other form of emotional manipulation. Remember to pay attention to the actions that say that he loves you lot rather than just his words.
20 He Says: "I Like Yous." vs. He Means: "I Want To Spend Time With Y'all, Merely I Don't Commit To Anything Long-Term."
If a guy says that he likes you lot early, all that actually says is that he likes to be around y'all and enjoys the energy that you bring to the table. The aforementioned could be said almost the mode he sees his friends or family members that are close to him. This could exist a stepping stone to love, but that is never a guarantee. If he has to say "I like you" over and over, that means that he wants to keep yous around just he nonetheless hasn't actually made up his mind nigh you all the same. The real non-committal types volition tell y'all "I like you" for years just to string y'all along thinking "he likes me, so that means he volition tell me that he loves me eventually." Think again. Take this phrase in the offset as flattery just later on downward the road, take it with a grain of common salt.
19 He Says: "I Don't Want A Relationship." vs. He Ways: "I Don't Want A Relationship With You."
Never ignore this blatant statement. Repeat: Never ignore this blatant statement. Any guy who tells you lot that he isn't looking for a relationship is truly not looking for a relationship. Specifically, he is telling you that he will never get serious or monogamous with you lot. Don't accept this as him trying to build up a wall merely to meet who will tear it down. Girls tend to do this when they say that they aren't looking for a human relationship, but these are not girls we are talking about. Men are literal creatures and tend to mean what they say. Guys who "aren't looking for a human relationship" only want something casual and physical. Furthermore, they are besides looking to go on their options open and score with other girls. Believe him wholeheartedly when he says this to you.
18 He Says: "How Are You Nevertheless Single?" vs. He Means: "Is There Something Wrong With You That I Need To Know About?"
At first, this question seems flattering. You are thinking, "Wow, he must call back I'yard cute, intelligent and the whole parcel. Therefore, he is asking me this because he is so shocked that I am all the same single." This might exist half the truth, but really is but looking to gauge some more than data about you. He wants to know if there are any red flags or "crazy" (come across the "crazy ex-girlfriend" entry to a higher place) traits well-nigh you that he should exist aware of. This is peculiarly true if he follows up this question with the next question, "what has been your longest relationship?" Questions similar these are him testing you lot to encounter if yous are true girlfriend material. He wants to know nearly your by beliefs and so that he can see what he is really getting himself into.
17 He Says: "You're Overreacting/Being Overly Dramatic." vs. He Means: "I'chiliad Actually The Crazy One But I Desire Yous To Recollect You lot're The Crazy 1."
Statements like these after he has clearly done something to make you upset are a classic grade of gas lighting. Gaslighting is when someone does something on purpose to go a reaction out of y'all then turns it effectually on you as the crazy one when you requite them a reaction. If a guy does something like hit on another daughter in front end of you lot or anything else that is disrespectful and then tells you lot that you are "dramatic" or "crazy" for getting angry with him, and then get rid of him stat. Run from these types and avoid them every bit if they were the plague. Guy code volition have a way demonizing women and accuse them of existence the style they are interim. You simply do not demand this in your life.
16 He Says: "I'm Sorry." vs. He Means: "I Don't Regret Whatever Made You Mad Only Y'all're Upset So I Experience Similar I Should Repent."
There are genuine apologies and then at that place are false apologies. An "I'm sorry" could hateful that this is guy code for maxim "lamentable, not sorry" or it could actually just mean that he is sorry. Bold that it's the latter, what he is saying is that "I'grand sorry that you got mad only I'k non really sad for what I did." Sometimes guys will simply apologize only to get you to shut up so revert to their old ways once the waters have settled. This is another classic scenario where you have to picket his actions and non his words. If he really is contrite, he volition modify certain behaviors to make the relationship work. If he doesn't, then he was simply proverb "I'one thousand sorry" as a way to get you off of his back.
xv He Says: "You lot Deserve Ameliorate Than Me." vs. He Means: "I Will Never Give You What You Need In This Relationship."
When a guy says this to you, that is him trying to get you to dump him. He is being self-deprecating by trying to imply you that he isn't good enough for you. In reality, he simply doesn't want to exercise the work in forming a real relationship with you lot. He knows that his behavior is less than what a girl really deserves in a relationship and he has no desire to up the bar and exist a expert boyfriend. Some girls volition take this as flattery and interpret information technology as "I think that you are above my league"...don't exist 1 of those hopeless romantics. That is far from what he is really proverb. If he says that you deserve better than him, then he does not see yous every bit a priority.
xiv He Says: "I've Been Really Busy/Swamped With Work Lately." vs. He Means: "I've Actually Just Lost Interest In You."
Saying that he is too busy for y'all just means that he is unwilling to brand the time for you. No affair how decorated a guy is, he will always make fourth dimension for his girl if she is someone that he really cares almost. If you lot are seen as something casual or unimportant, and then he will merely prioritize other things ahead of you. This argument is guy code for saying that "you merely aren't that terribly of import to me" a la Patrick Bateman from American Psycho. If he says that he is likewise decorated with work or school but then you encounter him check into a bar or do some leisure activity without you on social media, so this statement is just flat out prevarication rather than a stretched out truth. He is as well busy for you, but he isn't too decorated for happy 60 minutes.
13 He Says: "That's Not What I Meant." vs. He Means: "You Took That Way Worse Than I Idea So At present I Accept To Backtrack."
If he tries to speak to you in guy code and then you interpret information technology to something that he was really trying to say, this response is him trying to backtrack. When you give him the roughshod truth version as to what he told yous, he won't desire to come off as beingness the insensitive A-pigsty. And then instead, he says "that's not what I meant" as a fashion to misconstrue the whole point or to merely soften the blow to spare your feelings. Guys aren't always the most articulate when it comes to communicating their thoughts and feelings then sometimes you take to read betwixt the lines. In any instance, take this guy lawmaking statement as a lie or at least a slight prevarication when he says "that's not what I meant." It usually ways that he was trying to convey a truth to you lot just did information technology in a harsher way than anticipated.
12 He Says: "It'southward Not You, Information technology'southward Me." vs. He Ways: "Information technology'due south You lot, I'm Merely Trying To Soften The Blow."
Whether a guy or a girl says "it's non you, information technology's me", that is the biggest line of BS when information technology comes to breaking up. Of course it's you, otherwise, he would withal be wanting to date you. There was a characteristic about you lot that he didn't like or that didn't add up to what he was looking for. So rather than flat out tell you what it was that makes him want out of the relationship, it is easier just to put it on himself. He might even say something more like "I just don't desire a relationship correct now" (meet nearly entry) or "It's only not a expert time in my life to accept a girlfriend correct now." If yous are really feeling brave, telephone call him out on his BS and ask him the real reason why he is breaking upwardly with you. If you are willing to exercise that, then prepare for some news that y'all don't want to hear.
11 He Says: "Can We Nonetheless Exist Friends?" vs. He Means: "Tin can We All the same Hook Upwardly?"
A guy might say this as he is breaking up with yous or after you take broken upward with him. Despite what anyone tells you, there is no such thing as "still being friends" after getting intimately involved. Whether it was a existent human relationship or a hookup, the encephalon chemicals that you feel towards that person change after you take it to the next level. Guys can compartmentalize their feelings and be willing to but "be friends" with an ex because they desire their concrete needs met. Hooking up with an ex tin be comforting because you guy are already familiar with each other and it's easier than trying their luck with someone new. He could even be taking advantage of you lot by having his needs met but not yours. Don't give him the do good of that blazon of "friendship" and but cut him off and requite yourself a clean break.
10 He Says: "We Demand To Take A Pause/I Need Some Infinite." vs. He Means: "I Want To Suspension Up With You I Just Would Rather Put It Off."
When a guy tells y'all that "he needs space" or "he needs a break" later you have given him plenty of time to himself, he has officially checked out of the human relationship. This ways that he wants to spend less time with you and more than time either by himself, with his bros or with other girls. The only exception to this is if you lot are really being clingy and all upwards in his space. If you run across that he is preoccupied with priorities like work or school and yous are not respecting that, so him saying that he needs space is validated. The exception only applies if he says "I need space" or "You need to give me more fourth dimension to intendance of (insert what he needs to practice here)." If he tells you that he "needs a break" and so that is him trying to intermission up with you temporarily and so he can play the field. This one will depend on your level of independence. If yous have been respecting his space and he tells y'all he needs even more, then just break up with him.
9 He Says:...Nothing For Over a Week vs. He Means: He'due south Non Into You lot Anymore Just Doesn't Want To Be Straight Up Nearly It
This is a classic case of ghosting. He was all interested in you lot before past texting y'all every day, making plans and going on frequent dates. Now all of the sudden it has come to a screeching halt and you are left wondering what the eff happened? For 1 reason or another, he just lost interest. In reality, information technology probably happened while he was dating you. He gradually saw reasons why you were starting to go not worth his time and then he made the decision to ghost you. This is the most horrendous manner to dump someone but unfortunately, this is what the historic period of dating apps has brought the states. He doesn't want to deal with the confrontation of breaking up with yous so he is simply going to go MIA.
Some guys who ghost you might contact you sporadically for an occasional hookup, but these types are even more repulsive than ghosters. Cut them off like the leeches that they are.
viii He Says: "We Should Go Go A Coffee Old." vs. He Means: "I Don't Desire To Commit To A Whole Meal With Y'all But I Want To Evidence You That I'm Interested."
If a guy asks you out to coffee, this is the pre-screening procedure to see if you are even first appointment material. Don't count the coffee date as an actual first date but as an audience to a start date. Don't be offended if he asks you this because these are actually good opportunities. For java dates, you can actually accept a existent conversation and get to know the guy. At bars or clubs, y'all volition ever be bombarded by noise and plus you don't know if he merely looking to hook up that dark. Afterwards a coffee date, look until he asks you lot out to dinner or something ameliorate. If he does, and so this is guy lawmaking for "y'all have passed the java test." Just recollect that a guy asking you out to coffee means something coincidental only could exist a stepping stone.
7 He Says: "I Like A Girl Who Doesn't Wear Any Makeup." vs. He Ways: "I Have No Thought What I'one thousand Talking About But Just Don't Get Crazy With The Makeup."
Guys have no idea what they are talking about when it comes to makeup. Sure, it is sugariness and romantic when y'all roll out of bed in the morning and he tells you that you look beautiful with no makeup. If you are the type that goes for the "no makeup" makeup look, then you have to express mirth when he tells you that not knowing that you really are indeed wearing makeup. If you are one of those girls who live for makeup tutorials on YouTube, then possibly he isn't a fan of you doing the overly dramatic makeup. That or he sees other girls going crazy with the makeup and he does not want you to exercise the aforementioned. Long story brusk: guys don't find it bonny when you get overboard with the makeup.
half-dozen He Says: "How Practice You Know That Guy?" vs. He Means: "Have You Hooked Up With That Guy?"
Sometimes the inevitable happens. Nosotros crash-land into an ex or a guy that we used to claw up with when nosotros are out and about with our new boyfriend. If you lot are polite, you will introduce the two and if they are gentlemen, they will shake hands. It is natural for him to wonder what type of history that y'all have with him. If it is just a platonic friend, he volition nevertheless wonder what went down in the past. Guy code says that no guy can "just exist friends" with a girl. Many guys just presume that if a daughter has guy friends, that must hateful that they all want to hook up with her. Whether or not that is actually the truth is actually just abreast the signal. He will also enquire this question if he sees some frequent Facebook activeness betwixt you lot and some other dude.
5 He Says: "You lot Wait Amazing In That Dress." vs. He Means: "Can Nosotros Please Leave Now?"
If y'all are one of those types that take forever to become ready, then prepare for this argument as a cue to hurry up. Guys hate information technology when girls take too long to become ready. Most will understand that us girls but have longer to primp than they practice, but if it gets to be more than than two hours for a casual date nighttime then he will go annoyed. Girls who always take consistently also long to get ready and are tardily because of it are looked at as high maintenance and uncaring of other people's time. Some guys will have a higher tolerance than others and those who don't are probably attracted to tomboys. Some guys are into the idea of girls wearing no makeup and just throwing something on...who knew?
four He Says: "I Like Chilling At My Place." vs He Means: "I'grand Just Interested In Seeing Yous At Night Or Behind Closed Doors."
If a guy says that he prefers to "chill at his place" then watch closely to the mode he socializes when you are not around. If you run across on Facebook that he is out and about with his friends and and then never invites yous, that is a huge cherry flag. The exception to this is if he truly does dearest to alive the hermit lifestyle and actually just doesn't like to go out. If that is the instance, then this is your dream guy if you yourself don't like to go out much. Bold that is not the case, then this dude sees y'all as strictly a "Netflix and chill" blazon of girl and nothing more than. In other words, he just wants to claw upward with you lot and can't be bothered in bringing you lot out to meet any of his friends. If he tin't even do this, then remainder assured that you will never come across whatever members of his family.
three He Says: "I Don't Remember Y'all Should Habiliment That Out." vs. He Means: "You Await Astonishing Only I'g Afraid Other Guys Will Notice You lot Too."
Then you are getting all dolled up and looking sultry AF and and so nail. Your boyfriend chimes in and tells you that he doesn't want y'all wearing that out. He is expressionless scared that other guys are going to cheque you out and hit on you. Unless what you are wearing is really trashy, so this spells huge insecurity issues on his end. If he is trying to tell you to alter your outfit because it is "likewise revealing" and so this is a prime number case of controlling behavior. Guys who are this insecure can be unsafe and can make your relationship toxic. This is because he will take you feeling like you are doing something wrong just for wanting to have a girl's nighttime out.
two He Says: "We Should Hang Out (Or Kick Information technology) Sometime" vs. He Means: "I Similar Yous, But Not Enough To Make Actual Plans With You."
And so when he says "we should hang out sometime" and doesn't requite a clear time equally to when and where, then he is leaving the brawl in your court. This is his filter: he wants you to come to him. He wants you to take the initiative and ask him to hang out with you. Although this is 2018 and information technology is accustomed that girls are allowed to ask guys out, this vague statement screams ambiguity. This is guy lawmaking for "I'm not even going to ask you out on a date, but I desire you to come over and hook up with me." This is particularly true if he says the higher up entry of "I love chilling at my identify" after he implies that you should hang out and you have the allurement. Don't fall for this one.
1 He Says: "How Do I Expect?" vs. He Ways: "I Need To Make Certain You Observe Me Attractive."
This statement of guy lawmaking is just ambrosial. Not different girls, sometimes guys like to get dolled up and be told how handsome and dapper they look. This is especially true if they are at a blackness tie event and they have people there that they demand to impress. Secretly, guys sometimes demand to primp in the mirror to brand certain that they look their all-time every in one case in a while. This is where they need some ego stroking and a compliment or ii will go a long way. Tell them that their hair looks perfect and that you tin't look to become them home later the event for...well, you know what. Even men need to get in touch with their feminine side and look pretty, there's nothing incorrect with that.
Sources: Narcity, Wall Street Insanity
Well-nigh The Author 
Source: https://www.thetalko.com/we-cracked-the-guy-code-22-things-guys-say-vs-what-they-really-mean/
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