Funny Facebook Statuses About Being Drunk

Funny Statuses About Partying, Drinking and Big Nights Out

StricktlyDating is an Australian writer who creates pages of original funny quotes and status updates.

Funny status updates and memes about partying, drinking too much, celebrating and having a big night out! Great statuses for you to use on places like Facebook and Twitter, when it's the weekend and you're letting your hair down and having a drink and having fun.

Funny Status Updates About Partying, Drinking And Big Nights Out

• Twinkle, twinkle little star, show me to the nearest bar!
• I'm so old I remember when vodka only came I vodka flavour.
• A hangover only lasts for one day, memories of partying all night last forever.
• Its that time of the night that I realise I'm going to have to lower my standards if I want to kiss anyone here.
• Vodka mixes well with everything, except decisions.
• There's regular panic. And then there's out of wine panic!
• I love wate, especially in cubes, completely surrounded by vodka.
• I don't even believe myself when I say I'll just have one drink!
• Love is fine, but no wine ever broke my heart.
• Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.
• Dancing like no one is watching. Because they are not... They are all looking at their phones.
• It's not a hang-over. I caught wine flu.
• Life is not a fairytale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you're drunk.
• It's funny how drinking 6 glasses of water in a day is difficult but 6 schooners in an hour's so easy.
• Gone drinking! I'll be back when I remember why I started ;)
• You look like I need a drink.
• At this age I need glasses. Wine glasses.
• Sometimes just a single word can make someone happy... "Rum".
• In dog beers I've only had one.
• I'm not drunk I just have inner ear issues.
• I finally quit drinking for good... Now I only drink for evil.
• Happy hour... Why limit happy to just one hour?
• Just to save time, let's discuss the addictions I don't have.
• Wine: Because a good story never starts with eating salad.
• Sometimes my age is really inappropriate for my behavior!
• "You can't find happiness after drinking a bottle of beer!" "No kidding! Who is happy when their beer runs out!"
• If alcohol isn't the answer you're obviously asking me the wrong question.
• That sad moment when you realise the trash goes out more than you do.
• I'm feeling Fridaylicious! Let's party!
• Go home feelings, you're drunk.
• When standing in line I only hate the people in front of me. Everyone behind me is cool.
• Keep calm and have an awesome night.
• Oops - Someone can't handle their drink any more (Me).
• If you can't amaze people with your intelligence amaze them with your wild dancing.
• I'm so tired I actually considered rolling down the stairs instead of walking.
• I just text my friends upstairs because I'm too tipsy to walk up 5 steps.
• I don't know if this girls flirting with me or just petting her wine glass.
• I just did the pash and dash. Not on purpose, I'm just too drunk to remember who I kissed.
• I don't know where I am, but I'm having vodka shots of some sort and I like this place.
• The whole crowd just saw me fall on my face. And cheered.
• The waiter just mistook me fixing my earrings to mean I want your body and I want your number.
• The waitress is my dates ex girlfriend. If I get food poisoning you know what happened.
• I just saw cleavage that screamed "Your children will never go hungry".
• At least pull your jeans up guys when you're wearing sponge bob undies. Or anything Disney.
• She's shaking her booty so I'm dancing my muffin top off. If you've got it, flaunt it!
• I wasn't drunk! Dude you were singing "Video killed the radio star" to the lead singer.
• Kind of feels weird when the hot guy you meet has the same name as your father.
• Kind of cute when he looks so cool but he dances like a kangaroo.
• I wasn't stalking you, these boots were just made for walking!
• I wasn't drunk! Dude, you tried to ride the bicycle on the bicycle lane sign.
• Note to self: It's ok to dance on tables, so long as they are not made of glass.
• That awkward moment when your high-heel flies off your shoe when you're dancing like a boss!
• That awkward moment when you get kicked out of the club because your 8 inch stilettos can't make it down the stairs.
• That awkward moment when you go to the bathroom to freshen up and when you come back he has his tongue down someone else's throat.
• I wasn't drunk! Honey, you asked for a hamburger without the meat. AKA Salad Sandwich!
• Would you like fries with that? I said "Guess!"
• There's nothing better than seeing those golden arches at 3am.
• I was flirting with a guy who's phone kept going off for like an hour. Turned out his wife was outside waiting to give him a lift home.
• He said you're so hot your dad must be a fire man. And he is.
• As he walked past me in the crowded room I said "Hello Hottie!" and then noticed there was a female attached to his arm... If looks could kill!
• I wasn't that drunk! "Dude, you asked your girlfriend if she was still single?"
• I have officially replaced the bottom of the food chain with vodka.
• Having a great time, I don't know who these people are, but I like them.
• Having a secret dance off with my ex's new date who's on the other side of the dance floor.Winning.
• Pretending not to know my mates because they are too drunk!
• That awkward moment when a guy thinks your going home with him just because you had a dance.
• His lips are my wine and I wanna get drunk :)

• Hey I just met you and this is Swayze and in the corner no one put's baby!
• You know your having a big night when you've lost your mate and he texts you woieiviieiflel to tell you where he is. And you understand it.
• I don't know why I bother wearing perfume I only ever come home smelling of beer.
• There's no chance of hearing your voice mail when you're in a club. Unless you want me to return your call at 4am. Probably better to text.
• Those difficult 10 minutes of acting sober so they'll let you enter the premises.
• I wasn't drunk. Dude, the whole club saw you take off your shirt and try to turn it into a cowboy hat, And boo'd.
• I'm pretty sure morning wine is a thing. If not, I just invented it!
• When the guys who didn't get kissed try to put it on you in the taxi line at 4am...
• I hate the morning after, when you read the text messages you sent while intoxicated.
• No I don't want to get back together. That text was sent to you from my beer.
• I had more than four cocktails, so it doesn't count.
• Would you like to dance? Yes I would, just not with you.
• When you use auto correct and you send a group sms to say "I can't wait to PARTY with you" and your phone replaces the first four letters with ORG.
• I just walked up to the front of the queue and said dude I'm with the band and they let me in. Bow to your new god! (There's no band on here, just a DJ).
• When you wake up next to someone you don't remember meeting.
• When you wake up and the only clothing you're wearing is a tiara. And you have a magic wand in your hand.
• Wine makes me feel like I prefer to take things slow emotionally but fast physically.
• When you go to sleep thinking your snuggling up to James Bond and you wake up realising he's someone more like Shrek.
• After tonight, tomorrow I'll be wearing a great big shade of exhaustion under my eyes.
• This is how I party: ~(','~) (~',')~ \('-'\) (/'-')/ \('-'\) (/'-')/ ε(‾^‾)з \(‾^‾)/ ƪ(˘⌣˘)┐ ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

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Add a party status:

Bes Band Associates from Tacoma, WA on March 19, 2018:

I laughed out loud probably ten times! lol!

Frank Atanacio from Shelton on April 15, 2016:

I missed this three years ago? LOL I loved it!!!!!!!!!

StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on October 24, 2013:

Thanks Mel, I'm glad you could relate I've had my fare share of party nights too! Best wishes from Australia!

Mel Carriere from Snowbound and down in Northern Colorado on October 20, 2013:

Been a while since I partied but I can certainly relate to some of these. Some of the party jokes I can think of are probably not fit to print. Funny hub!

bvhpro on August 01, 2013:

Thanks for the entertainment and laughs!!:)

StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on October 22, 2012:

G'day Bob! Hope you're keeping well!

diogenes from UK and Mexico on October 22, 2012:

It was you!!!

Bob x

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